Well, the latest weirdness is that, after moving the batch file to the root directory, it won't even run. And altbinz didn't like passing either variable by itself, $d or $col. This is all very strange. It's great that the file I have works for someone, I just wish it worked for me. Would a fresh install help maybe? Would I lose my queue and preferences if I did that?
And yet again, I really appreciate the time and effort you guys are putting in to helping out one lone guy out there. It's pretty cool.